030 ten years

Ten years of marriage.

On a cold and blustery day, under an oak tree, by a lake, in the spring, with candles and guitar music, I joined my life to his. All our most favorite people passed our rings from hand to hand, blessing our union, blessing us with their wisdom.

At the moment of sunset – 6:29 if I remember correctly – my dad and I walked arm in arm from the Summer House to the Hummingbird Garden. I sparkled in a silk dress homemade and hand-beaded by my mom. I stepped into a new world, a new me, married me.

In nine years we have experienced so much. The usual (laughter, tears, jobs, moving, babies, all that) and the not so usual (sudden heartbreak and radical forgiveness). We held hands and gave birth together. We have attended weddings and funerals. We have loved hard and yelled some and made two breathtakingly amazing children. We have lost two grandmothers, two cats. one dog, and two pregnancies. We have gained a home, a family, a convocation (or possibly cacophony) of laughter and curls and salt water and owls and oak trees and soil and warmth and trust and safety and mission.

I am so loved, so grateful, so married.

029 advance

For the past 3 days I’ve been working on my business behind the scenes – website updates, business development, some training to strengthen my coaching skills, not so much blogging. Preparing for greater visibility & success. Journaling all the ways I support myself and others, all the ways I wish to serve.

I have my own ideas so you tell me… if you’re here and reading this, what are my strengths? What questions can I answer for you?

026 maintain

Instead of writing blog posts I’ve been working behind the scenes on web site maintenance. I am not a techie or a WordPress expert, as is probably clear by the appearance and organization of my site. So these things take time.

I had an interesting breakthrough in my journaling this weekend that I will write more about this week.

021 leadership

I am ecstatic to announce that I am going to attend Your Leadership Recipe LIVE in Macon, Georgia at the end of March. Makenna Held has long been an inspiration for me, as a coach and as an entrepreneur.

As a white woman I feel a profound responsibility to speak against misogyny, racism, ableism and homophobia and to use my privileged position in this society to bring more attention to injustice. My voice is needed, if only to direct attention to the voices of black // LBGTQI+ // marginalized women who are doing the work, have always done the work of freedom and justice. I write, I mother, I relate, I live, and I lead from a space of intersectional feminism – liberation for ALL women.

Women I love who will be speaking & leading there:

Makenna Held – just the queen, seriously.

Layla Saad – spiritual and business mentor, a certified Reiki II energy practitioner, an award-winning speaker and the host of the Wild Mystic Woman Podcast.

Alexis P. Morgan – Writer, troublemaker, my primary day-to-day inspiration.

Andréa Ranae Johnson – Coach, facilitator, and writer. Leader of the Coaching as Activism course which is on my MUST DO list.

Halley Grey – online marketing at Evolve and Succeed.

Thais Sky – women’s coach, speaker, teacher and feminist.

And there are more, I just haven’t gotten to them all yet.

Read, follow, hear, and pay these women. They are everything.

016 radical

synonyms of the word radical:

thoroughgoingthoroughcompletetotalcomprehensiveexhaustivesweepingfar-reachingwide-rangingextensive, across the board, profoundmajorstringentrigorous

I believe in radical compassion, radical resilience, and radical self-love. I am a radical feminist because I believe in getting to the root cause of misogyny – I’m not that interested in the kind of ‘equality’ that just makes women more like men, I want to tear down the walls of gendered nonsense and see a new paradigm arise based on radical respect. I am radically anti-racist because I am learning how to open my eyes to the damage done by white privilege and white supremacy. A zillion pages have been written about this by much better writers than myself, and I am going to be sharing them to center the words and lives of Black feminists.

Most of my friends & most of my facebook fans are a lot like me – privileged, middle-class white women. It is time for us to do better. Racism is learned. Gender norms are learned. Our generation and the generations that follow are responsible for unlearning so we can move forward.

014 quote

Black and Third World people are expected to educate white people as to our humanity. Women are expected to educate men. Lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world. The oppressors maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions. There is a constant drain of energy which might be better used in redefining ourselves and devising realistic scenarios for altering the present and constructing the future.

– Audre Lord